


the only thing we share (is this small town)

by choijisu



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: 2shin yea yea, Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, F/F, Im Yeojin & Kim Hyunjin are Siblings, Mentioned Choi Yerim | Choerry, Pining, Shin Yuna-centric, based on ryujin's nasa pickup line on yuna, literally just threw choerry in there, yuna yearns for ryujin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choijisu/pseuds/choijisu
Summary: Her heart breaks with nobody around to willingly fall and put it back together for her. But she supposes that fate's choices work in ways she can't fathom and so does her insatiable need for being wanted by Ryujin.She wants to sayI'm in love with you. I always have.She wants to askWhy couldn't you have picked me?But she doesn't because she chooses not to.
Relationships: Choi Jisu | Lia/Shin Ryujin, Shin Ryujin/Shin Yuna
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	the only thing we share (is this small town)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dyscnia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyscnia/gifts).



She's seven years old when she tells Ryujin she's going to marry her someday. 

When her favourite neighbour brings home a classmate for an unexpected playdate, Yuna fixates on her last name more than anything.  _ Shin _ Ryujin. They share the same last name and suddenly, she's convinced that it's destiny.

Yuna thinks of silly things like cats talking, mushroom houses and its fairy inhabitants, plants dancing under the sun after being watered. It's her child-like wonder that has always kept her up to her toes. It’s one of her best traits, her creativity. So it’s no surprise for anyone that she grew up to have an imaginative mind of her own.

(She could think of worlds beyond, universes and galaxies far ahead, have wishes to cast, map out all the stars.)

Except she's a bit older now, and has mostly untangled herself from the strings that tied her to those silly thoughts. She outgrew them like all of her pointe shoes from when she was a baby, her five pairs of fruit patterned socks she’s ever owned, the stuffed animals nestled quietly on the top shelf above her bed and so did every other part of her childhood. But not Ryujin.

Ryujin's gentle smiles eases the storm and loosen up the spins, comforting her more than anything. Her delicate eyes wait all alone before she takes hers between her fingers and weaves apart the knot in her hair from when they would jump on heaps of orange leaves with the autumn wind. Her voice quiets her fears, stringing her heart. And when she laughed, it resembled the principal warm day of spring, clear and splendid. Yuna could close her eyes and she would still be able to memorize her like constellations in the sky.

  
  


_ "I can see stars in your eyes," Ryujin says as she holds the younger girl's face closer to hers. Yuna feels like her eyes are windows that Ryujin is leaning onto to find the great unknown. In fact, she's so close to her that Yuna can't help but let out a giggle. _

_ "What else?" She asks excitedly. _

_ "I dunno," Ryujin is still staring deep, like she's searching for something else. _

_ Yuna shakes her head away from Ryujin's grasp. "Maybe they're asleep," _

_ "Huh?" The girl asks, tilting her head to the side. _

_ "The planets," Yuna repeats. "Jisu tells me that all things sleep too, so maybe that's why you can't see them now." _

_ "You’re something else," Ryujin says, patting the younger girl's cheek playfully. _

  
  


Yuna didn't understand much of what was going on because she had only been six at that time, but the girl never left her mind. Because now, she's thinking about Ryujin's warm hands cupping her cheeks, holding her face close to hers as she looks beyond the boring brown color that she's grown to hate; but if Ryujin used to see the universe in her eyes then so be it. She’s completely fucked.

_ It sucks, it sucks, it really fucking sucks. _

The problem is that she was a go-getter. Shin Yuna herself at seventeen moved with drive, with passion; whatever she set her eyes and motives on, she went ahead and got it. (With Ryujin, she never stood a chance).

The scene in front of her plays like a sick memory, watching the parallels like a black and white film reel. She’s not even sure if they were just being kids back then.

She feels like crying. She’s still staring and she can’t seem to tear apart. She feels like a joke.

She just wants to be a part of that.

She wants to be a part of Ryujin.

(A part of her wants to be someone Ryujin falls in love with).

-

As the star athlete, Yuna knew herself like no other.

When she's on the court, she ventures into every part with nothing but focus. She knows the nit picks, the ins and outs, every move the other team would make (because she knows how awful they play and they never did stand a chance when she was out there).

Yuna has a systematic way of being herself—how to act, how to think, how to strategize.

She thinks on her feet, steering the ball as she steels herself from the stupid gameplays the other team uses. She's hell on the court and everyone knows it. She wasn't Yuna the former ballerina or Yuna who is hopelessly in love with Ryujin; she was Shin Yuna, the school's pride and team's ace.

A title that she wore around like a trophy necklace.

It was everything to her. She was precise, strict, nothing mattered to her, and sometimes she felt like it turned into an escape from her reality. Because in athletics, she was a part of everyone. Whatever she did left an imprint, a mark—everybody loved her, wanted her, needed her. The best part? So did Ryujin.

(It's pathetic, she thinks. To bear the weight of perfection on her shoulders and only still think of the girl that keeps her mind running.)

It's fucked up.

-

She lies to Jisu about her feelings.

It's not like she can tell her, "Yeah, I have a thing for your girlfriend." She can never do that to her. (Except she already has, but Jisu doesn't have to know that).

She and Jisu had grown up together. She had been Yuna's designated babysitter, considering that their families had been friends the moment the younger girl had been born. They were new to the neighbourhood and Jisu had a brother her age. Basically, they were sisters from another mother. You know, the works.

(And it was thanks to Jisu that she had been introduced to Ryujin. She considers it a fine work of fate. Maybe even a curse.)

This is where Yuna learns she can  _ lie  _ to Jisu. Sure, she's lied a ton to others. But the older girl could see right past her, it's a miracle that lying to her about her feelings was as easy as pie.

However, this is where she also learns about Im Yeojin and how she's got herself winded in a position to go on a date with her. She learns that the girl is a year older, she could live off of cereals if she tried, her favourite animal was a frog, was the shortest in the family, had an older sister who turned out to be the creator of a cat animation video that Yuna had obsessed over in middle school.

It's also where she learns about Yeojin's feelings.

"Who's Yerim?" Her fingers hover over the beads, drawing them in a cursive manner as she traces the bead letter boxes that spelt out a name that was not Yeojin. The other girl lights up like a firework and Yuna smiles at that.

"Ah!" Yeojin exclaims. She takes off the bracelet and drops it to Yuna, who clutches it as if it were a fragile memento. "She's my dearest friend." The girl pauses for a bit.

Yuna waits for her to continue, watching the mood switch from elation to blues. The anticipation kills her, she'll admit that.

Her nails go  _ tip-tap  _ against the table. "Well, we used to be friends—like, I guess we still are. I don't really know.." Yeojin's shoulders drop and her lips curve into a frown.

"Do you not talk anymore?" she asks, still toying with the bracelet. She slides it back to her wrist, adjusting it to display the words  _ YERIM  _ on the front.

Yeojin flashes a wry smile, shrugging half-heartedly. "I fell for her. She fell for someone else. But she's still one of my dearest friends.. we just aren't as close as we used to be."

Yuna feels her ribcage hollow as her heart aches against her chest like it's begging to be cut away from the nerves. "Well, that's.. That's not so bad, is it? As long as you still talk, the connection isn't going to change. She'll still stick around and everything."

"If she only knew, I guess." Yeojin replies.

"It'll work out somehow."

"Really? How so?"

"It will," Yuna insists. "I know so."  _ I know because I'm in love with a friend too. I know because it works out for me. _

Yeojin's expression goes blank for a moment before eyeing the other girl with eyes that twinkle with curiosity. "Do you have your own Yerim?"

_ Yeah, I do,  _ Yuna thinks to herself.  _ She's beautiful.  _ "I don't." she replies. Because if there's anything that she wants to hide from forever, it's Ryujin.

She'd give it her all if it meant keeping Ryujin from the world, from everyone else. She's an idiot for wanting something like that.

(And  _ this _ , is where Yuna realizes what it's like to be selfish for herself.

She wants Ryujin to want her like she does).

  
  


-

She arrives at their lunch table with the atmosphere thick a week later.

Jisu is sitting with her history book open. She doesn't acknowledge Ryujin, who walks past them, at all.

Yuna doesn't ask why.

  
  


-

Her mood shifts when Ryujin smiles at her the next day, telling her good luck with her exams alongside a pep talk and everything.

It's all she thought about when drifting off to sleep that night.

-

Ryujin is outside her doorstep a few weeks later.

It's early morning and the birds flying by her garden every day have barely come out yet. Her watch ticks, the hand travelling from number to number and yet, Yuna feels like time has gone frozen.

She wants to ask if she knows.

She wants to ask if she knew this whole time.

Instead, she lets her in.

"I didn't think of calling, sorry for that," Ryujin apologises sheepishly, leaning against the door frame as she locks it behind.

"It's okay," Yuna responds. She takes her place on a purple bean bag perched on the floor, giving the other girl her space. "Are  _ you  _ okay, though?" she asks.

Ryujin stares at her. "Jisu and I broke up."

Yuna is breathing hard. "Why?"

"She said she wanted some space," Yuna knows Ryujin is lying with the way she averts her gaze. She's looking at the rug beneath her socks, her cheeks are flushed and there's a spot of blood in the corner of her lips, a sign that she's been chewing them off. "But I know that with Jisu,  _ space _ means it's over."

Yuna doesn't know what to say. As selfish as she was, this wasn't what she wanted. The universe had a sick way of dealing with things, and she was the one to blame.

But what else was there to say? That Jisu was a bitch? That she would have been the better choice? In another life, Yuna could've sworn she was happy with Ryujin because she had chosen her. Because she deserved to be looked at as if she hung the stars and the moon (the way she had been looking at her from the outside, having a piece of her, a streak of memories that are still freshly painted).

It's twisted, she thinks. Wanting to be someone who Ryujin falls in love with; the same person who breaks her heart.

She can't win.

There's silence between them until Ryujin asks her, "Do you think things happen for a reason?"

Yuna plays with the braid of her hair, threading through her question carefully. "I think.. yeah, they do. Sometimes people come and go because it's for you to learn and let go too. It's a choice to have or to lose."

Her answer serves like a truth medicine for the series of lies she's convinced herself to believe.

Fate masked and powered through by delusion.

_ Do you think things happen for a reason?  _ Yuna doesn't even know. She's been yearning and wanting for so long, she doesn't know if she wants something that's possible anymore.

She had forgotten what it was like to  _ have _ .

"Ryujin, do you still love her?" It's a dumb question but she needs to know. She needs to know—it's a simple yes or no question, really.

"With everything in me. She's the first girl I've ever loved."

And that was all she needed to know.

Her heart breaks with nobody around to willingly fall and put it back together for her. But she supposes that fate's choices work in ways she can't fathom and so does her insatiable need for being wanted by Ryujin.

She wants to say  _ I'm in love with you. I always have. _

She wants to ask  _ Why couldn't you have picked me? _

But she doesn't because she chooses not to.

Instead, she tells her, "Then you go get her back. You don't just give up on someone you love just because it's set in stone that it's over."

She chooses Ryujin's happiness over hers, even if it means accepting to lose (and she had already lost the moment she knew she was in love with her).

There's silence between them again. It's loud in her ears, her heartbeat. It bangs like a drum against her ribs and Yuna wonders if this is what it means to be in love.

(To be in love so real and so loud that it leaves you haunted.)

"I'm happy you're here." she says after a while.

The older girl cocks her head to the side. "Why, I didn't go anywhere, though?" she replies, but it comes out as a question.

"No, I know. I'm just glad we're friends."

Ryujin smiles, and all she could do was try and break from her burning lungs. It's hard to breathe when you want to cry, after all. "I'm glad we're friends too."

Her heart pulses in time with the ticks on the clock. Perhaps, only time will tell when it's her turn.

In another life, maybe in the future, she'd end up with her. After all, she's only seventeen.

There was still a lot to learn. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! there are some plot holes and a few that might be explained in a second part but for now this is all i have <3 i hope u enjoyed n lemme know what u think :)


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